Hello and Welcome
I may seem angry in many of my posts, but I’ve found being a parent in today’s world a very lonely job. I do not believe in the most common trends but I do have very strong beliefs. Up until November 06 I did not have much self-confidence but now I realise I must be confidence in order to be able to give the best to my family.
"... the Government would provide up to 20 free hours of early childhood education and care per week for three and four year old children in New Zealand...."
That's what is really is its daycare...its not education its separation. Sure there might be an early childhood educator there but its not better than a Mother who has access to a place like Playcentre.
There are Sooooooooo many reports, studies and cases that tell us that the most important thing for a growing developing child is to be with its primary caregiver. But we ignore this totally...well it seems that our government does.
Dave brought up the point the other day. So if there are people out there getting 20hours free what about the Mothers and Fathers who do not want to put their child into daycare but want to use a Kindergarten or a Playcentre...what about a home based collection of parents who "home school" their toddlers? Do we get any help?
This is another step to us as a society not learning how to live with children and understand children's needs and children's development and what they are really able to do.
Just like anything in this world we have a right to choose which direction to go in.
The debate of "parenting to sleep" or "crying it out" is very interesting to me
Parents who let their children "cry it out"(that's their choice) but they will feel attacked and uncertain or is it afraid, demeaned or even harassed by people who do not. (Especially at people like myself who are so interested in the whole debate)
Just like parents who do not let their children "cry it out" feel when cry it outers say "oh but its the only way" or "but they have to learn" or "your just being manipulated and controlled"...we feel hurt, angry and want to rant and rave about all the pluses from our side.
Many seem to get very offended by the different camps ideas and beliefs. Both camps seem to feel that the other believes that they do not care about their children's well being or that they are loving parents.
Many people who are making a conscious "informed" decision to let their children cry do love their children...but their are so many who are also in this camp of crying who do not....and I think this might be when the confusion/anger and possibly the miss understanding (or the perceived miss understanding by non-cry it outers) happens.
There are parents who do neglect their children...these are the ones which police find half starved...or hospitals try to fix the broken bones on....these children fall into the "cry it out" camp....the home is just bad in every way.
This is where parents from the "cry it out" camp...get a bad name so it say...as loving parents have a supportive home with hugs and clean clothes and good food to eat...but they do not feel that its in their children's best interests to parent them to sleep as part of the deal.
Maybe this is why there is such a battle.
As in the "cry it out" camp there is a split of parent types those who let their children "cry it out" out of love and those who let their children cry out of neglect....the children still cry and on either side of these two types of homes....and within these homes you might have long cryers or short cryers all depending on the child and the way it is wired....so how much "damage" is done to either of these children? This is my question.
So from the perspective of a parent who parents their children to sleep - someone who is letting their children cry themselves to sleep has a hard choice to see the difference.
Am I chasing my tail here or what...I think I need to work on this a little more.
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing,
but it is not half as bad as a lot of ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
Our countries sport is rugby
It is rammed into us in every way
You just cant' get away from it.
I like to watch the news in the morning. I don't mind that there is sport in the new...its got its own section thats great...I don't have to listen to it....but some how it makes it into the main part of the news....and that SUX.
I don't often read the news paper cause every time I look at it there is a thug on the front page where it should of been in the sports section.
Our children are taught to hold these men aloft and in aware. They can say the names of these men and describe their sports teams colours and trophes.
Thats fine...sport is great....but not violent sport.
We should be teaching our children about kindness, and great mind achivements as well as great sporting achivements.
Our rugby is all too consuming and all to "important" and has often lost the idea of SPORT.
If God/nature intended a human baby to sleep alone he/it would of given the baby:
Sharp spines.
Thick warm fur.
A bad smell.
Tough skin.
A camouflaged skin.
Or a really bright warning colour working with this bright warning colour it would be poisonous if eaten.
The ability and knowledge to keep quiet i.e. not cry when left.
There are reasons now why we do not have to sleep with our baby...we do live in a much safer environment so there are no big bad wolf's out their to get our baby.
Also for some of us we like to drink or smoke or take recreational drugs...this is not what God/nature intended in the design of children sleeping with their parents.
Some of us like our personal space and need our time out from our baby.
For some there are religous reasons.
It really is a personal choice on where our baby sleeps and as long as we have made that choice and we have made it with care, listening to our selves (not what the media, friends or familyhave to say)...we have made an informed decision!
While co-sleeping may not be for everyone people need to begin to be aware that there are good things about co-sleeping.
I'm sure every so often something will come across me that makes me soooooo angry.
So I might as well keep this blog going.
I've been trying to review three books
Babywise and The Sleep book and Save Our Sleep
but I get so up set when flicking through the pages I find a little paragraph that goes along the lines of
How long should I leave my child to cry?
Until they stop!....
You have to teach them that crying doesn't work...
If they are teething just give them pain killer and put them back in their cot...
My God are we totally barbaric?
Know wonder we have some totally mucked up people around today!
They have been taught right from the beginning that no one cares!
And no matter what they do they will be ignored.
So are we creating kids that are becoming more attention seeking...violence, crime, theft, drugs, alcohol, teen sex, suicide, selfishness, deveant, mean, crule, depressed, quiet, unmotivated....flat and lifeless.
Yup I think there is still some anger there.
Please leave your comments
Megan
Wow there is just soooo much information out there.... I feel dumb with the fact that I thought that I could just be a parent in today’s world without educating my self.
I’m still working through Pam Leo’s book. I really recommend it. She has put me on to more links/web sites with just so much mind-blowing information. Mind blowing as that is what we seem to be doing to our children today.
Get the book from Amazon...took ages to come from Whitcoulls
I've also been looking at aTLC's - ALLIANCE FOR TRANSFORMINGTHE LIVES OF CHILDREN ...
www.aTLC.org web site as well which is very intresting. Some good ideas/blueprints to help parents of today. I feel that it is very encouraging.
Also been taking a very quick look at Baby Matters
www.babyreference.com ...not finished looking at that totaly.
I've been reading about Dr. Michael Lamport Commons and his papers about .... "Babies who are made to sleep alone or are not picked up and comforted enough may grow up susceptible to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and personality problems" excerpt Dr. Michael Commons of the Harvard Medical School, and colleagues.
