Hello and Welcome
I may seem angry in many of my posts, but I’ve found being a parent in today’s world a very lonely job. I do not believe in the most common trends but I do have very strong beliefs. Up until November 06 I did not have much self-confidence but now I realise I must be confidence in order to be able to give the best to my family.
"... the Government would provide up to 20 free hours of early childhood education and care per week for three and four year old children in New Zealand...."
That's what is really is its daycare...its not education its separation. Sure there might be an early childhood educator there but its not better than a Mother who has access to a place like Playcentre.
There are Sooooooooo many reports, studies and cases that tell us that the most important thing for a growing developing child is to be with its primary caregiver. But we ignore this totally...well it seems that our government does.
Dave brought up the point the other day. So if there are people out there getting 20hours free what about the Mothers and Fathers who do not want to put their child into daycare but want to use a Kindergarten or a Playcentre...what about a home based collection of parents who "home school" their toddlers? Do we get any help?
This is another step to us as a society not learning how to live with children and understand children's needs and children's development and what they are really able to do.
Just like anything in this world we have a right to choose which direction to go in.
The debate of "parenting to sleep" or "crying it out" is very interesting to me
Parents who let their children "cry it out"(that's their choice) but they will feel attacked and uncertain or is it afraid, demeaned or even harassed by people who do not. (Especially at people like myself who are so interested in the whole debate)
Just like parents who do not let their children "cry it out" feel when cry it outers say "oh but its the only way" or "but they have to learn" or "your just being manipulated and controlled"...we feel hurt, angry and want to rant and rave about all the pluses from our side.
Many seem to get very offended by the different camps ideas and beliefs. Both camps seem to feel that the other believes that they do not care about their children's well being or that they are loving parents.
Many people who are making a conscious "informed" decision to let their children cry do love their children...but their are so many who are also in this camp of crying who do not....and I think this might be when the confusion/anger and possibly the miss understanding (or the perceived miss understanding by non-cry it outers) happens.
There are parents who do neglect their children...these are the ones which police find half starved...or hospitals try to fix the broken bones on....these children fall into the "cry it out" camp....the home is just bad in every way.
This is where parents from the "cry it out" camp...get a bad name so it say...as loving parents have a supportive home with hugs and clean clothes and good food to eat...but they do not feel that its in their children's best interests to parent them to sleep as part of the deal.
Maybe this is why there is such a battle.
As in the "cry it out" camp there is a split of parent types those who let their children "cry it out" out of love and those who let their children cry out of neglect....the children still cry and on either side of these two types of homes....and within these homes you might have long cryers or short cryers all depending on the child and the way it is wired....so how much "damage" is done to either of these children? This is my question.
So from the perspective of a parent who parents their children to sleep - someone who is letting their children cry themselves to sleep has a hard choice to see the difference.
Am I chasing my tail here or what...I think I need to work on this a little more.
