Going down that "Cry it out" Road

I’ve been down that “cry it out” road.
What!!? I hear you say.
Yup
When Ara was about 6 months old (you could probably put it down as a growth spurt) she just started demanding more and more feeding....all through the night. It was constant. I would like to say it was every half hour but I don’t think we really stopped. People were saying that my milk was not enough that I was not producing enough which I’ve now discovered is totally untrue. But the total tiredness....I got to the point that I was shaking with exhaustion. I was angry and I was getting violent.
I REALLY needed a break.

I talked with my Plunket nurse and she gave me a little photocopy on controlled crying. I didn’t like the idea. I went to see what they could do for me at Plunket House.
It took them 1.5hrs to rock Ara off to sleep which she then only slept 45mins, there was no more help there really.
I needed help NOW!

I was also under a lot of pressure from well meaning friends and family.
“You don’t want to be rocking a 2 year old to sleep”
“It (cry-it-out) never did me any harm”
“Oh they (the baby) know.....they can manipulate you”
My confidence was at an all time low, and my brain was no better that scrambled eggs.
So there I was trying to get my poor baby to sleep in the cot, not rock her to sleep or feed her to sleep. It was just too much and it all backfired.

We brought a book called “Save Our Sleep” by Tizzie Hall.
I was so excited...I was total beside myself. When the book arrived in the mail I franticly flipped to the page with her age and routine then packed Ara off to bed. No parent help to get her off to sleep. She didn’t cry...she went to sleep.
Dave and I thought it was a miracle and when 45mins came round and she woke up, I rush down to the bedroom and patted her back to sleep. It was so simple.

Then I really read the book and found that I should not rush in and help her back to sleep...in fact even if she threw up or had a messy nappy I should still let her scream her self to sleep. She encouraged total separation from our baby. All this terrible treatment is something I would not even do in training our cat.

The funny thing is I think Tizzie recommended that I keep a diary to keep track of our success.
SUCCESS?....what about total FAILURE!

I can here a few of you say “now Megan you just didn’t stick to it...you obviously went in when you should of just let her go”
Well I’m telling you now. I did not! I wanted to make this work. I love routines as I cannot live my life with out one, I’m a total mess with out one and I really wanted one for Ara so I knew where I stood.
So I REALLY wanted to make this work and I did EVERYTHING I COULD.

In reading my diary now today I can not believe what I did to my baby...to poor Dave and to my self. I should be sent to jail for child abuse.
I worked so hard at this Save Our Sleep for a month. I can see the moment I started was the moment Ara stopped. She stopped eating properly, she stopped feeding properly. (We used to feed on demand about 3 hours apart except for at nite of course... In the book it is a four hour routine with strict times. On this routine Ara would feed for as short as 0mins or as long as 5mins), She stopped putting on weight (well of course...nothing was going in) and worst of all she stopped looking at me, wanting to be held by me or smiling............
BUT EVEN BIGGER she stopped sleeping.
She just screamed and screamed. If she did sleep, it must have been from total collapse and she would only be asleep for 10-15mins.

Everything fell apart.
Then I realised my mistake my dream for being a wonderful caring understanding observing mother had been lost...to boot I was still over tired.
After talking with Mum about another book I’d found on the net...humming and haring as I was not keen to go through more horror she brought me the book...Elizabeth Pantley’s “No Cry Sleep Solution”. I was very weary of a new book but I saw that this lady had a heart unlike the other who is only interested in a quick fix (well for some baby’s not ours).
Mum also read in Elizabeth’s book about Dr Sears and pointed me in the direction of his web site.

So in a round a bout way we made it....and discovered that I was right! My instincts were telling me the truth. The more you hold on to your baby (if that’s what your baby wants) the more you understand your baby. The faster your baby will learn...the more you will learn with it.

Ara is my darling and I would not have her any other way. I just thank my lucky stars that she was strong enough for me to find the right way.